


Thirty-Two Flavors and Then Some

by voodoochild



Category: Extreme Championship Wrestling, World Championship Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Infidelity, Inspired by Music, Sexism, Slut Shaming, Women Being Awesome, Wrestling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 01:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12783975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voodoochild/pseuds/voodoochild
Summary: 32 women, 32 drabbles, about the ups and downs of the business. (Started way, way back when Lita was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, abandoned, then picked up again during the Mae Young Classic.)





	Thirty-Two Flavors and Then Some

_"The violence between women is unbelievable. Women try to make each other crawl so that their knees are bleeding."_ \- Tori Amos

******

**I. Lillian Ellison (The Fabulous Moolah)**

You don't get anywhere in this world when you're fourteen and knocked-up.

You're smarter than this, know you have so much more to give than being a wife. All your life, you've been defined by what man you're beholden to. Only daughter to your daddy. Youngest sister of thirteen brothers. Mrs. Walter Carroll. 

Mildred makes you believe you can be more. Mildred and Billy, who might not have the best territory out there, but are willing to teach you the business.

You miss your daughter, but Sallie has always wanted children. You've got places to be and dreams to fulfill.

***

**II. Johnnie Mae Young (Mae Young)**

Sure, you're a dirty old woman. 

You'll suck face with the boys and flash your granny panties and call the rookies bitches and sluts because you can. You never smile as wide as when you're making the fans laugh. You're gonna be in the ring until you croak, and you fucking hate when one of the boys acts like a powder puff. 

Ray was the worst. You can't take a bump? You're too old to work with? You were doing this when his granny was in diapers.

Because really, if you haven't earned it after eight decades, fuck them.

***

**III. Wendi Richter**

The night it happened, you called the Hart kid.

You've been there, after all; know what it's like to have the surprise swerve, the fast count, the bell rung against you. You'd listened to him rant - Vince this, Shawn that - and it's like it's '85 again and you're back at the Garden. Like you're walking the halls and running into Moolah with her gear when she isn't even supposed to be on the card.

You told him to be angry, but when he wakes up tomorrow, not to burn his bridges. Sometimes you do want to go back.

***

**IV. Elizabeth Hulette (Miss Elizabeth)**

They'll remember you for two things: beauty and loyalty.

Standing by Randy, in and out of the ring. That one moment when he pulled down the ropes for you, after years of it being the other way around. The feud with Hogan, all that high drama and accusations of infidelity. The on-air wedding, the culmination of how "happy" you and Randy were.

They won't remember the sordid bits - with Flair and with Lex. Never mind who Lex was to you; to the fans, you were meant for Randy.

Wrestling marriages never work out. You know that all too well.

***

**V. Sherri Russell Martel (Sensational Sherri)**

Backstage in the WWE is just as wonderful as it was the first time. You have butterflies for your butterflies as you meet an Olympic gold medalist and talk business. You're laughing at one of Kurt's impressions (Pat Patterson, dead on) when you hear a familiar Texas drawl and get swept up into a hug.

It's ten years to the day, and you're going to kill him for looking better than ever. Gone is the mullet and the gold chains and the hideous overalls; Shawn's all jeans-and-tee-shirt country boy, and he's 100% clean and sober. 

You wish you could have his strength.

***

**VI. Gertrude Vachon (Luna Vachon)**

Daddy never wanted you in the business.

Tried everything he could think of to keep you out. Told you you'd get hurt. Told you you'd end up a rat or a junkie or both. Said for every Moolah or Vivian there were a thousand girls who didn't get past taking bumps. Even Andre begged, and though it broke your heart, you never listened.

So you trained (Japan, Canada, Florida) and worked and shaved your head and did everything they asked. You played the freak, because it's the 90's and women must be glamourous, not strong.

Philadelphia is a new start.

***

**VII. Tammy Lynn Sytch (Sunny)**

It took two words to destroy your entire reputation.

Sunny days.

Bret's not the bad guy - not even if he's still married, not even if he's the one that blabbed your business to the entire locker room. Shawn's not the bad guy, for airing your dirty laundry on national television. No, you're the slut, the whore, who wasn't content with half the locker room and had to go for a married man. You could fucking scream.

Or you could just keep going, because sooner or later, they'll get theirs. They're going to fuck up, and you'll be there to laugh.

***

**VIII. Rena Mero-Lesnar (Sable)**

Cougar. 

It's a hell of a lot nicer than what they used to call you. Now, you're just another fortyish woman going after a hot young stud twenty years your junior. No one gives a shit what you have with Brock - you're just another Demi and you're using him for all he's worth.

Except this is the first time you aren't using anyone. After years with Marc, years of backstabbing and politicking, it's nice to just be with someone because you love them. 

To support them because it's what you both want.

***

**IX. Stacy Carter (The Kat)**

Jo and Jerry teach you that above all, you can't trust anyone in the business.

Because Jo is strong and tough and more talented than half the boys, but all she'll ever be is "that leather dyke" fucking Hunter and being thrown under the bus for Stephie Mac. 

Jerry breaks your heart. They tell you that marrying into the business is either the best or worst thing for you, but they don't tell you why. They don't tell you how hard it is to watch him shine while you're stuck with the "slut" chants.

Not everyone's meant for the spotlight.

***

**X. Terri Runnels (Marlena)**

If anyone ever told you that you'd raise your daughter in the business, you would have called them nuts.

Even discounting the sex, the drugs, the booze, the entire road lifestyle - you would have said that anything involving Dustin in your daughter's life would be trouble. But you do it, because Dakota deserves a father. And well, you love the life yourself.

But then come the assaults and the phone calls from jail. And when you have to take it all away from her, it breaks her heart. It's all right, though - your girl's a survivor.

Just like Mom.

***

**XI. Jacqueline Moore (Jackie/Miss Texas)**

You love refereeing most of all.

It's a better job than they've ever let you have in the ring. When you ref, you wear the same stripes as the men. You hit the canvas, you make the counts, and your decision fucking stands.

The girls love it, but you'd still be working dark matches if not for Chris. After Dave had pulled his knee, he'd gone to the bookers and asked why you couldn't ref his match. The main-event, a title bout.

That's what you'll look back on with the most pride.

***

**XII. Joan Marie Laurer (Chyna)**

All your life, it feels like you've been screaming for attention from men. You pare your body down to its essentials to be as strong as the boys, then you build it back up with silicone and hair extensions because they say you're not feminine enough.

Daddy, love me. Vince, notice me. Hunter, don't leave me. Sean, stop hurting me. 

You wish you were a dyke; maybe another chick would tell you how insane you are. Tell you that you're beautiful the way you are, and that love isn't screaming and punching and snorting more coke than the other person.

***

**XIII. Trisa Hayes-Laughlin (Beulah McGillicutty)**

You're lucky, because the business was good to you. You met the love of your life, had one of the greatest jobs of your life, and have two gorgeous little girls. Tom's loyalty paid off and you're grateful for that.

No one would ever know you'd been a wrestler. Most people in your town have never heard the name "Tommy Dreamer", much less "Beulah McGillicutty". 

But every so often, when you're in NYC or Philly, or when you come down to a taping in Atlanta, someone's breath catches. They call you "Beulah" again, and you smile.

You do miss it.

***

**XIV: Francine Fournier (Francine)**

Playing the heel is what you were born for, they tell you.

Because you rock the bitchy cheerleader role. Your vowels are Philly-flat, and your shriek is catfight-perfect. You show off your legs and your tits and never, ever outshine your man. You take the piledrivers and go through tables, and sure, you're hardcore. 

But once, just once, it would be nice to be cheered like Trisa or Shane or Tom. 

You get your wish ten years and a bankruptcy filing later, and it's absolutely everything you'd wanted. You almost forgive Shane for the barbed wire.

Almost.

***

**XV: Kristina Laum (Kimona Wanalaya)**

No one from back home knows what you used to do. You're going to keep it that way. 

Seoul may be a Western-style metropolis, but Korean values breed strong, and even omma and abba don't talk about what their older daughter did in the States. 

"She was a dancer," they tell some. 

"She was an actress," they say to others.

You were both and neither and so much more. You wouldn't trade WCW and ECW for the world. But you live in the real world now, and explaining that you used to be a wrestler would just cause more problems.

***

**XVI: Lisa Moretti (Ivory)**

The girls all called you Mama Bear. Sure, you were a Diva, you did the catfights and the cheesecake pics and the bikini poses, but you fought the brass for them.

They're all just kids. Early-twenties. You got into this business at 35, with a little bit of life under your belt. You've been there, done that, and you can warn them to stay the hell away. They look up to you, ask you if their snapmare looked good and could you talk to Johnny, Lisa? He listens to you.

So you fight for them, because no one ever fought for you.

***

**XVII: Debra McMichael-Williams (Miss Debra)**

Your name is Debra McMichael, and you haven't had a drink in five years and three months.

It's been hard, nobody ever said it wasn't going to be, but you've done it. Cut ties with Mongo, cut ties with Steve, put your damn foot down that neither of them (and nobody else) was ever gonna lay a finger on you again.

Every time you watch Monday night football, you expect to hear Mongo. Every time you see a damn beer can, you miss Steve's chuckling. But you don't need alcohol or them anymore.

You think you've figured out what "the wisdom to know the difference" means.

***

**XVIII: Kimberly Bacon-Page (Kim Page)**

They told you it would never work, a dance team on a wrestling show.

(They also told you it was the worst idea ever and wouldn't sell a dime, but residuals ten years later say otherwise.)

They told you no one would care about the girls.

You look at Sharmell and Rebecca, happily married. You look at Stacy, a real wrestler. You remember every fan that's greeted you with "hey Kim, the Nitro Girls look great!"

You're still proud as hell of what you did.

***

**XIX: Rebecca Curci-Hickenbottom (Whisper)**

No one expects to marry a guy and get four other husbands along with him. That's what you get when you marry one of the Kliq.

Jo and Michelle and Sarah and Steph tried to warn you. But you were so starry-eyed over Shawn that you ignored everything they tried to tell you. More fool you.

You don't just get the Kliq, you get their history. The baggage. The drugs and booze and sex and hooliganism that brought them together and makes them tick. The sheer addiction to the business.

(You also get Hunter, but that's a whole other story.)

***

**XX: Sharmell Sullivan-Huffman (Storm/Queen Sharmell)**

The accent is idiotic. The dress chafes. The crown is fucking heavy and gives you migraines.

But you're in a ring and you're with Booker and you didn't have to dance or strip or suck dick to get there. When your knee snapped in that training ring in Greenwich, you thought you'd be done, doomed to cheer for him from the sidelines. You were ready to hang it up when Vince called, offered the valet role.

Victory is really, really sweet.

***

**XXI: Amy Dumas (Lita)**

You're wrestling's Yoko Ono, and even though you promise yourself you won't let it get to you, it does.

The constant chants of "slut" cut the worst. You don't know how Stephanie put herself through that for all those years. The outright hostility and shaming from the fans, because you fucked Adam and threw over Matt and broke up Team X-Treme.

No one cared what you wanted.

Sometimes you wonder why they ever cheered you at all, if they're so awful now. 

***

**XXII: Stacy Keibler (Miss Hancock/Stacy)**

You're the golden girl who made good.

George is every little girl's Prince Charming, you swept America off their feet when you danced, and that pesky little "wrestling thing" was all in the past, wasn't it? Why would you need any of it when you're bonafide Hollywood?

Hollywood doesn't have best friends like Torrie, though. Doesn't have the boys like DJ and Andrew and Adam. 

They liked you before you were Clooney's arm candy.

***

**XXIII: Patricia Strategias (Trish Stratus)**

The brass call you a trailblazer, an icon. It rings in your ears every time you get in the ring.

The praise is heady, the roar of the crowd even moreso. You know you deserve some of it, but not names like those. You're a valet who got lucky enough to be trained by some of the best. You didn't blaze those trails by yourself - it was Lisa and Amy and Jackie and Jo right there with you.

They call you stupid for retiring, for walking away, but you know it's time.

***

**XXIV: Lisa Marie Veron (Victoria/Tara)**

You shouldn't have left the E, but the grass is always greener, and you'd wanted a division that would let you shine more than you wanted a paycheck.

You got your wish - five time Knockouts champ, one time Tag champ with Brooke, main events and hardcore bouts and a boy toy of your very own - but if you hadn't saved every cent WWE paid you, you'd have been broke in six months. It kills you to see the other girls working two, three jobs, even when they're main-eventing, and it kills you to see Dixie throwing 500 grand at Kurt when none of the girls will top 10k a month. 

Life in the real world is looking better and better - maybe you'd better get out while you can.

***

**XXV: Melina Perez (Melina)**

Wrestling's stuck in the Dark Ages when it comes to relationships.

The boys marry good, supportive women who raise their kids and keep their mouths shut. The girls marry for money and never think of anything better. What happens on the road stays on the road, and anything outside of dick-in-pussy is verboten.

They don't know what the fuck to do with you. You took Dave away from his wife and Johnny off the market, and you still wanted more. 

Slut is really just another word for different, isn't it?

***

**XXVI: Elizabeth Copeland (Beth Phoenix)**

Pinup strong.

Mom used to call you that when you spent hours on your hair and then hours in the gym. It's old-school glamour meets new-school badass, and you love that it's caught on. Nat's just as gung-ho about it as you are, and you both spend hours looking for the perfect Louboutin and then trying to outdo each other at squat-thrusts.

When they dub you "the Glamazon", it just feels right. Like you've hit your stride. You can only go up from here, and you figure that championship gold will look perfect with your new Prada luggage.

***

**XXVII: Natalie Neidhart (Natalya)**

Stu always said you were his star, that you shone the brightest.

First female graduate of the Dungeon. First female third-generation wrestler. Better, faster, harder-working than David or Teddy or TJ. Strong as your dad, all the charisma of Uncle Bret, with your mom's smarts and sensibility.

It's a lot to live up you, and you do try your hardest. Every time you roll out of bed, into your stilettos, and go down to the gym, you're bringing pride to the Hart name. Every Sharpshooter you sneak by Johnny Ace instead of a bitchslap or a bulldog is letting you hold your head up high.

Like Stu always wanted.

***

**XXVIII: Michelle McCool-Calloway (Michelle McCool)**

Your life changed when you met Mark.

He barely spoke to you for the first four years. Looking back, you understand why: Diva Search bimbo, color girl for the minor leagues, Bra and Panties matches. 

Then you started showing up in the gym every morning when you knew he'd be there. Lifting and squatting like the boys, staying as long as they did. Three weeks in, he took the weights off you and sent you to the hospital for your back. He sent you flowers, too.

You knew it was love when he watched Project Runway to see you. You knew it was forever when you watched his Mania match with Shawn through your fingers, because even the little bumps hurt to watch.

***

**XXIX: Vickie Lara Guerrero**

You never realized how much Eddie protected you.

Those backstage visits, toting the girls along. Those box seats at Wrestlemania with Linda and Nancy. Those phone calls from Chavito after every injury.

Now that you're the one on the road, working the 24/7/365, you realize Eddie was extraordinary. Most of the boys forget they're even married on the road. Eddie called you every night - _I love you, mi amor._

You call your girls every night, no matter the time zone, and you tell them that you love them.

You do it - all of it - for Eddie.

***

**XXX: Stephanie McMahon-Levesque**

Dad likes to talk about legacy.

(Usually when he's pissing and moaning about Shane. Not every father wants a prodigal son.)

It's easy to see Dad's legacy, but now you're starting to see Hunter's. A multimillion dollar complex in Florida. Trainers who are the best in the world. A roster of talent your Dad would never sign, all of them stars. 

There was a choice when you started dating Hunter. You watch your husband in board meetings and in ring gear and with your children, and you know you got it right.

***

**XXXI: Ashley Fliehr (Charlotte Flair)**

Reid was going to be a second-generation wrestler, and you were going to be a normal girl.

Everybody told you that you couldn't have seen it coming, and that's your story for the cameras. But you saw it coming, of course you did, because you've watched Dad's 70-year car-crash of a life, and Reid was never going to be as good as Dad.

The day you set foot in the PC, the entire place stops dead and whispers your dad's name under their breaths. The guys, the girls - even the trainers step on eggshells. All except three girls that immediately have your back and begin to drive you harder than you ever thought possible.

Dad was right about lightning striking when it came to the Horsemen.

***

**XXXII: Pamela Martinez (Bayley)**

30 minutes. Iron Man stip. Main eventing a real pay-per-view.

First in history.

You barely hear Hunter congratulating you, your ears are still ringing and Sasha's still holding your hand, and you know she's just as terrified as you are. The brass are trusting you two with the future of women's wrestling, but in the back of your head, you've got every one of those assholes who say you're too boring to watch and you're too plain to fuck.

Proving them wrong is going to taste sweeter than anything, but you cling to Sasha anyway, tell her _this is it, it's our time_.

***


End file.
